In 1996 IRI decided that to help improve morale they would hire a team building company to help with interpersonal and interdepartmental relationships. Anyone with any management responsibility had to attend their training sessions, which I found somewhat common sense and, at least for me, a waste of time.
After these training sessions, the company (Malandro Consulting) would schedule a 4-day retreat with all the managers. Working with IRI, they identified a nice lodge in southern Wisconsin, about an hour drive from Chicago. Of course, being one of the company VPs, I was expected to attend.
The problem was the date: It was during chol-ha’moed Sukkos, a time when I would only eat or drink in a sukkah! So I politely told management that I would not be able to attend. They were upset because I was such a key player. They asked me all sorts of questions to try to understand. I explained the concept of the sukkah. They asked how I was managing to eat while at work, and I explained that there was a kosher restaurant less than a mile away that had a sukkah, and I went there for lunch.
A few days later, they came by to say that they had moved the entire event to a small hotel in the area — so that I could go to that restaurant for my meals! I was astounded that they would change the plans for about 50 people, and from a beautiful resort to a cheap hotel, just for me!
One of their “rules” was that everyone stay for the full 4 days. This, I explained was also a problem because the restaurant was closed at night and early morning, and I did not even drink outside of a sukkah. I told them that if I was going to attend, I had to go home at night and return the next morning. Certain that this would be the final straw, I was surprised when they agreed — I would be the only one allowed to go home each night!
This turned into an interesting lesson in Judaism for a lot of people in that group, many of whom had never heard of Sukkos.
On the second afternoon, in a group session, we went around the room with the instruction to share something of a personal nature — I guess a way to make everyone seem less of just a business colleague. I have no recollection what I shared, but there was a young woman there who shared that she had a major falling out with her mother and they hadn’t even talked in over five years. Different people then responded in turn, some trying to offer suggestions or just emotional support. When my turn came, I explained the Jewish concept of honoring one’s parents, and that my advice was that she should push past whatever negative feelings she had and call her mother! This was a radical answer to most in the room — that she should be the one to break the barrier.
The next morning there was another group session. This same woman asked if she could say something. She said that she thought hard about what I said, and she actually called her mother! In that single lengthy phone call, they managed to break down a lot of barriers and begin to mend fences. She thanked me profusely for giving her my advice. The room was stunned. After that, I felt like this was my entire purpose for being there — why the retreat was moved to accommodate my Sukkos observance.
